what t-town means to me

I've been living in Toledo for some time now . . . . sans the colorful time in college . . . my whole life.
I'm glad that I've gotten to travel a lot, because if not, I might think that the people in Toledo were the people everywhere.
I've noticed that people in Toledo have a certain attitude/mentality. My friends and I go out to the bars, and I notice it there. If you've been here for an extended period of time, then you probably know what I'm talking about . . . if you haven't, then let me tell you about the East side.

There's a river that runs through the middle of downtown toledo . . . Maumee. It used to be a nice river before all the pollution, but that's not what this blog is about (it's highly rumored on the crew teams that if you ever fall out of the shell then you might develop some extra "appendages" in the following days.
Anyway, the little man inside tells me I'm rambling . . . . point being the river divides East/West toledo.

East side is some sort of poverty-phenomenon. I don't know if the East side is the way it is because of money . . . but I doubt it, cause lack of money doesn't make you like they are . . . at least not that I can see.
To sum up what I'm about to explain, let's put it this way: I would much rather live in my parents house, then on the East side . . . . pretty much any day of the week.
You can feel the East side. It sucks you in, and it doesn't want you to leave. The people there, for the most part, are 'white trash.' The mean kind. Oh yeah, and East siders really hate people from the other side of the river. There's this whole prejudiced thing happening w/ the river.

To me, there seems to be so much hate in the East side, it's . . . . well, it's thick.

I mention the East side to talk about Toledo . . . the attitude here. Is it the weather that brings people down?

The whole town seems to have the attitude of a mopey friend who doesn't want to go out at night, doesn't want to have any fun, doesn't anything that's happening anywhere else (maybe not even in their own town), just wants to get fucked up retarded, and complains that the sidewalks are rolled up at 10pm on Friday, but doesn't want to do anything if he has to be creative. East side? : just add violence to the previous description.

Now, I've met a lot of very cool people from Toledo (it just so happens, coicidentally?, that they happen to have spent a lot of time out of Toledo . . . getting cool I assume.

Now, like I said, I've travelled to a lot of places . . . just within the U.S. Not everyone seems to have this attitude. People everywhere have their problems and their bad days . . . . I'm trying not to reference this . . . . it's more like in Ghostbusters 2 (which has been on Comedy Central repeatedly, lately) where there's a giant river of evil goo running under the city. I think Toledo has one of these. In some aspects, Hillsdale (the town) felt a lot better than being in Toledo.

I don't think it's area dependent. I do, however, believe that you shouldn't underestimate the dysfuntional, exponential, power of a lot of miserable people together. Toledo was a swamp. We are swamp people in disguise of the rest of the country. At least in the bayou, people are freakish, but you get to hunt critters and eat jumbalahya and shit.

Here? We have factories . . . . not jumbalahya. We're like a mining community in the old west. And you know what happened to them . . . . ghost towns.
This is where toledo is headed.
A sinister union with the disgruntled undead.

Great News

everybody . . . . I made it past the first stage of the JET program. I've got my interview in mid february. Wish me luck.

One step closer to the Japanese dream.

2 things

It's best to post late at night. Otherwise it takes forever to log onto blogger.


I'm posting for two reasons:

Firstly, let's clear up the last post. ---> I did title it "what they would call a bad morning", so please understand that it is just that, a bad morning. Not the end of my life, or some bottomless pit . . . . just a moment of despair and doubt. No amount of intellectual understanding can cure the state that I find myself in on such a morning. While your comments are appreciated by some part of me, the other part of me finds many of them (while I am not necessarily questioning their genuinity) to be what is prescribed to say when someone is having a rough time. Please understand that I don't mean that they aren't honest . . . . it's just that when someone is in a tough time, they don't need you to tell them about options or how they have friends. Sometimes they just need a swift kick in the ass . . . other times it just requires patience. Thanks for posting, and please realize that those sorts of posts are not meant for responses. Just expressions of a state. I'll try to be more clear next time.

The second reason I'm posting is to see if anyone in the Toledo or surrounding areas would want a roomate or know someone who does. Alas, the situation living w/ the parents has gotten to a point where I really can't live here anymore because I don't want to become violent . . . . which is where I'm seeing this heading in the not so distant future (I will spare you the details. suffice it to say that living conditions have become intolerable, as I care far too much about my health).
I would hope for my own room, but am willing to make exceptions. I'm very clean (at least in the public spaces) and I keep dishes out of the sink and don't fuck the shit fuck. I'll most likely have a job at American Broadband tomorrow, so I'm gainfully employed and can handle rent. I'm pet friendly, and don't have lots (if any) parties. I know that a lot of women prefer female roommates, but I can honestly say that I think I would make a good roomate for a woman as well.

I'm available for interviews and would be happy to answer any questions that a potential roomate may have. Please send any responses to the e-mail address to the right. Thanks for any help you can provide.

what they would call a bad morning

It's been quite a while . . . . that's because there hasn't been anything to say.

It's difficult to see that my life may be changing in anyway. I was house-sitting for a little over 2 weeks. That was wonderful sans the getting sick part (which I'm still trying to shake . . . . er . . . maybe trying isn't the word . . . . hoping that I'll miraculously get well . . . . that's better).

I haven't that much to publish on the all seeing internet now. Just know that I have reached depths of depression that have probably been seen before. I'm quite getting used to the consuming sadness that I swim in every day.

I really cannot comprehend how I am still disillusioned by my college "graduation" (which hasn't even happened yet). I only see that I "have" a music degree . . . which there are no jobs for in Toledo. I have the option to get a job, but nothing that pays more than $10/hr. Not much to live on. I would like to go back to grad school, to actually do something with this "degree", but you need $$ for school, and a job for $$. And so, instead of getting creative, I get depressed.

I've become quite accustomed to it.

Apparently, I've made some pretty poor decisions.

I doubt there will be many posts any time soon.