artsy girl

Here's someone who actually contacted me back!

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/preview?search=1&resulttype=1&searchtype=1&searchmode=1&searchview=1&kws=0&searchinternal=1&position=33&total=198&adid=personals-1079757406-754837&affid=

I actually think this girl is promising. let me know.

the saga begins again (and yet continues)

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/preview?search=1&resulttype=1&searchtype=1&searchmode=1&searchview=1&kws=0&searchinternal=1&position=61&total=210&adid=personals-1087701108-921292&affid=

Here's the next one. I think this girl looks like the textbook definition of a sweetheart.

Ha Haaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! hrrr hrrrrrrr. (<---Betty)

hobag jap

By the way, that hobag Jap that I posted from online dating doesn't want to write me back.

What a hobag.

Maybe her fingers got chopped off and she's learning to type with her eyes.


By the way, when you haven't had a date for this long, it's easy to start believing that you're undatable.

Freitag

It's friday night; 2136h, and I'm sitting in this damn house. Everybody's doing something, and yet I'm not.

I did, however, take myself out for sushi.

I don't want to be sitting in my house on a friday night, I should be out partying. Alas, where to party? Toledo, to me, is not a singles town. Is there really a place where singles go to have a good time, or where I wouldn't just be sitting somewhere by myself doing a whole lot of staring at the walls?

Shit. I'll call Jill, let's see what she's doing.

Ahh, alas, the missing man has just signed on to my buddy list. Let's see what buttface has to say for himself . . .

Yup, I'm pissed at him. What a bitch!

Removing my skin

I met someone last night whom I really liked. In fact, I met 3 new people yesterday, only 2 of which were tolerable, and only the one that I actually enjoyed.

By the way, to all my female readers: if you're ever in the woods with anyone who remotely enjoys nature ----> take the time to enjoy what's around you, don't say "ewwwwwww" to mud, and when you complain that you might get your pants dirty and someone suggests that you might consider just cuffing up your pants, even if you think it's a stupid idea, do it anyway. Otherwise you're going to lose a whole lotta points.

Anyhoo, I think it's interesting to watch my friends and I all be attracted to the same girl. I noticed that there is a certain civility about it. I know that if any one of us was successful and started forming a romantic relationship with her, that the others would back off and focus their interests elsewhere. That's nice to know.

However, I did spend time with one of my friends last night, and there's something about him that I consistently do not enjoy. He's very generous, likes his friends very much.
I think though . . . it seems like he's got somebody raking his face off. Maybe he feels a lot of guilt, but when I'm around him, I often wonder if maybe he's going to break down.
I'll have to write more later, my thoughts are not entirely clear, just a funny feeling, something that bothers me. Not fun.

So I met one of my friend's friend last night at a place that I have not been to for many years. It was a nice time. I think she's very easy to get along with, and very fun, and has a smile that makes me smile.

I think that sometimes when people see something they like, they have a lot of expectations about it. It's as if we think we already know how things will turn out. For instance, I'm already certain that I will have no romantic relationship with this person. Why you may ask? It's too easy. We laugh too easily, our time is too pleasant, and I'm sure she's a flirt and that I am getting no special treatment.
Isn't that interesting. Before seeing what things are really like, I am already certain that I know. What's even more interesting is that much of the time if life does not live up to our expectations, we make life adapt to our expectations. That is, sometimes if nothing is wrong, we'll make something wrong.

Where in life are your expectations? How do you know that what you think will happen will happen?

I'll keep posting regarding the girl, if my readers find her interesting, or just to watch as I go through the playing out of my expectations and how reality really is.

Gassho.

fixed

Ok, I think I fixed the link probl3m from the pr3vious post. Ch3ck out th3 link now!

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/preview?search=1&resulttype=1&searchtype=1&searchmode=1&searchview=1&kws=0&searchinternal=1&position=42&total=162&adid=personals-1085366431-740110&affid=

Let me know if this works.

And post comments.

Evaluee Numbah 1

Well, thanks to 'ol Mike's suggestion, you all have the opportunity, nay, the priveledge to watch the progression of my online dating.

The first of the profiles for review:


Post comments on this girl.

a wasted monday

There's more deer in my back yard!

My little dog scared one away through the storm door yesterday. He's got a napolean complex. bad.

I depise summer school. Last year it was much easier to maintain my attention. I ought to mention, I hate French class. I hate speaking it to all the other collegies to hate speaking to me. This could be something that all bonds us together.

But instead I live in terror, hoping, averting eyes, that I will not be called on to leave my seat and speak some simple sentences.

We have an oral exam tomorrow. I don't think I'll be attending. See, it doesn't matter if I pass or fail this French class, only if I place past 3rd semester french on Hillsdale's placement exam that they are making me take. I don't suppose it's wise to blow off this class. And yet, I despise it, wholeheartedly.

I also don't like living with my parents. They're noisy and disruptive, and I am hypervigilant to their attention.

on summer school

Summer school sucked my nuts off with a vacuum cleaner today. There was snot and blood and juices all over the french room floor. Women screamed, men cringed; and as I sat there nutless . . .

Ouchie.

Does anyone know of a suitable way to express the deep and penetrating hate that I have for Hillsdale's administration? Clay pigeons? Paintball? Angry letters? Man, nothing's all that good.

But, there is one thing. a very large explosion. mmmmmm, boomie.

on deer

There are two male deer in my backyard now. Their antlers aren't big yet.

My dog doesn't seem to like them as much as I do.

Silly rabbit.

dates

I've been watching for a date for the past couple weeks and have come up with a whopping 0 prospects.

I've learned that waitresses are one of the most difficult kinds of people to ask out at work, especially if they're busy.

If I were rich or otherwised endowed I would throw parties for people that were my friends and I would invite a waitress so that there would be time to talk. I tell you, between maufing down sushi and sake and paying the bill, there's no time to get to know anybody who isn't sitting directly across from you.

Usually I just use this dating thing as a way to keep myself entertained. Most of the time I'm not really serious. I don't know any of the girls that I may be interested in, and the girls I know I'm not.

I'm going to get a haircut soon. Maybe that will help. I tell you, it seems like if you're shy at all you'll be dateless.

The whole process is too intellectual, too thought out and planned. If I do this, then so and so will notice me, then I can say X and she'll say X and then I'll ask for her # . . . . . and on and on and on. The calculating never stops. And then I find when I silence that calculator, when I just sit and am in the moment, there's nothing to say. Usually I just sit and enjoy the prescence of my potential date-ee, but good words don't come, just a mess of intellectual mumbo-jumbo that I know not to say cause it doesn't do anybody any good and it only makes me feel fake.

When words come, they are the wrong words. Nervous, agitated, self-conscious. When the words pass there is only silence. The silence still hasn't gotten me a date. Perhaps a different understanding will help me find the freedom.

On bedtime

I'm in my 3rd week of summer school. This thursday marks my halfway point. I think that is cause to get all kinds of celebrated this weekend.

Reasons for celebration are becoming more and more widely defined.

I've been going to bed early in the weeknights now. I've been getting up earlier, actually doing things in the morning.
There is something that bothers me though, and it's the going to bed part. The majority of the time, provided I have not been physically active all day long, I don't ever want to go to bed, even if I'm tired. In fact, sometimes I will actually put myself to bed, being quite tired, and then I will "wake up." I really should have a new word for this, because it's not like being awake. It's like being awake if all that reality was was one's thoughts. I am too tired to really get up and do anything, but too awake to sleep.

I find these times the most troubling.

I enjoy being up in the morning though, only when I've gotten enough sleep, however. Why is it difficult to have a regular sleep schedule? Is there some rule that if you're under the age of 26 you must not start having fun until 2 hours after the sun goes down? (bonus in the winter).

If you've ever used melatonin, you know it's a wonderful thing. Does it not seem odd that sleep is difficult? I know that I'm not the only one here . . .
Why must a natural process require assistance? This is like taking laxatives. I conclude then that something must be wrong, but I gotta tell you, I'm not sure how this is fixed, if there is anything to be fixed in the first place.

Adult swim is on now. Oh, how I would much rather be taking adventures with Fry, Bender, Peter, Spike, and May. All my animated friends.

Bedtime brings being with oneself.

I realize that as you dive deeper into yourself . . . well, you outgrow some people around you.

I spent two days with one of my friends this weekend, someone whom I may have considered moving in with. It was not fun though ; I don't know why.

How do you go to sleep easily? Why is it so hard to go to bed when my body wants to!?